Vacationing as an Intuitive Eater and Exerciser

This might read more like a travel blog initially, but I promise it has plenty to do with mental health. I recently spent three weeks in Italy, a place known for its incredible beauty, culture, and, of course, food! 

I thoroughly enjoyed all that Italy had to offer, and indulged in all sorts of delicious treats. After returning home, I started to think about how different the trip could’ve been for an older version of myself.

It is typical in Italy to have only a small pastry and coffee for breakfast. Some buffet style breakfasts included Italian meats, cheese, eggs, fruits, and yogurt. Lunch is typically the largest meal of the day with multiple courses. The first course is usually a pasta dish, followed by the second course consisting of proteins and optional sides. Some will have a salad toward the end of the meal, and it’s almost always followed by dessert and coffee. Of course the option to have a small lunch, such as pizza, is always there. To my surprise, pizza does not come by the slice but rather, you receive a personal pie that could certainly be a meal on its own. 

For dinner, you have your first and second dishes again, with the choice being yours. What about dessert? Italians love their gelato (my all time favorite) and there is often more than one gelateria in a larger town area. It is common to see people walking with their gelato at different times of the day and even in colder weather. 

Since the food options were truly amazing and abundant, I had to pay attention to my body cues while balancing the joy that food brings. It also meant that I had to reframe some negative self-talk around movement that would come up at times. My body cues helped me recognize that a pizza and many other dishes in Italy were quite large for me and I can’t eat it all in one sitting because I would feel full and satisfied often in the middle of a meal. I also needed to be at peace with taking my time with meals, as many people do there, while assessing if I want and need more food. Another realization was recognizing when I felt unbalanced and needed more vegetables and fruit, because it was easy to just eat only carbohydrates. I also made sure I left enough room for a daily gelato! I allowed myself to try new foods such as octopus, anchovies, and sardines. I did not restrict food at all, mentally or physically, giving myself full permission to eat and enjoy. My personal growth in intuitive eating was apparent!

One day when I was walking along the beach, I realized I didn’t pack my running sneakers as I only had a carry-on and could fit only so much. Then I thought, “Wow, old me would not have taken those off the list and they would’ve made it on the plane.” I suddenly felt an overwhelming sadness that I did not go on one run the whole trip. The path along that beach would have been perfect for it. 

“I have changed so much.”  

“It’s okay, I walked so much every day though.” 

“I wonder if I gained or lost weight here.”

There it was. I was slipping back into an old thought spiral and I caught it almost immediately. As soon as I did, I thought, “It doesn’t matter. I am meant to change in so many ways.” 

So what would this trip look like for an older version of myself? Stressing over how I could possibly eat a cornetto for breakfast (because of the lack of protein), then worrying about the amount of carbs in my lunch and dinner, completely freaked out about bread at the table at every meal and very large pizzas, and wanting gelato but restricting it. Add in the runs because I’m probably training for something and then stressing over the schedule, what to eat to replenish, and if I am gaining weight. Most of these thoughts occurred in my head and others would never know how much time and effort I spent trying to control and plan for it all. 

Food, movement, body image, health, and our routines are so deeply intertwined. Vacations often throw everything out of whack and can even trigger our disordered eating patterns. 
There is a reminder for me in this that is worth sharing. I can honor the grief I feel that I do not run as much as I used to, due to some health issues over the last few years, but it would also be okay if I just didn’t want to run for the sake of not wanting to. We don’t need to justify such decisions or come up with the next best thing (insert my own immediate thought about walking so everything is going to be okay!). These thoughts are rooted in ableism and I am not immune to them as a therapist. Intuitive eating and movement is not a cure for a society that continues to put pressure on us to look and be a certain size, shape, and weight. Thought patterns can still come back. We can still have bad body image days. The goal though, is to make the noise quieter, shift the spiral when we notice it, and bring that attention to what matters most. On this trip, what mattered most to me was my husband…and the gelato.